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Hey, why did this game get bad reviews?
Well, maybe it didn't get bad reviews, but Throne of Agony is a pretty good game. Better than the mediocre-game grilling it got.

I've enjoyed a number of hack-and-slash games on the PS2, including the seminal Baldurs Gate Dark Alliance, the bland Champions of Norrath, and even blander Champions of Norrath: Return To Arms. I even had a good time with the somewhat simplistic Untold Legends: The Warrior's Code on the PSP. When I heard that a full-fledged hack-and-slash game like Dungeon Siege was headed to the PSP I was optimistic about a new take on the genre from a non-Sony developer on the handheld.

Throne of Agony is a revival of many good things previous hack-and-slash games on the handheld took away. That said, I give it a zero score.

What? Did I just write a zero as in goose-egg, nada, nothing, zilch? Yes I did. But first, the good news.

Visually
The graphics on this game are very good. The presentation is good, the menus and text are very readable, and the in-game terrain reminds me of Neverwinter Nights and Darkstone -- a bit blocky in their 3D construction but still good-looking. The point of view is servicable if a bit closer to the action than I'd like, but the excellent mini-map-like radar in the corner makes it easy to see anything of interest -- foe or lootable item.

The creatures and models are definitely larger on-screen than in the most recent Untold Legends PSP game, making fighting easier and highlighting the good animations and spell effects. In fact, the spell effects and geometry of the characters reminds me of Neverwinter Nights and Darkstone, just as the terrain does.

The character menus are quite clear, and the tabbed interface shows enough information in fonts on backgrounds with good contrast that is quite readable on the PSP.

Something borrowed
It also borrows from other games, and politely at that. Killing a monster makes gold pieces fly out of them and land in little piles in a Diablo-like way, although without the Pavlovian clink of coins. Foes will sometimes drop sacks that you loot by holding down the square button, and you will occasionally find chests that work the same way. You have a sidekick summon is moderately useful, looks nice, and levels up with you. Not only do you purchase ability upgrades for yourself from a trainer, but you can purchase ability upgrades for your summon as you level up as well.

Untold Legends: The Warrior's Code introduced a very welcome feature where you trigger game-changing events and possible blocking items by holding down the square button, and this has been copied by Throne of Agony. This includes things like opening a chest or looting a bag which opens a modal window, or exiting an area.

Nice loot
As I mentioned, Throne of Agony also rolls back the oversimplification of inventory that made Untold Legends fall down in the loot department. There are a wide variety of different equipment types with different requirements, and if you lack an ability to use something the UI will highlight it clearly. The item names and item type icons are just what the doctor ordered, showing up clearly enough and fitting the sword-and-sorcery theme. You get your typical plain-colored text for regular items, and other colors signifying magical and other special abilities on items. Not everything shows up on the character -- cloaks, for example, do not appear on the player -- but major armor types do show up differently.

The simplification and dumbing down the loot types, names, and icons is something I disliked about the Untold Legends game and ultimate made it less interesting to replay. Dungeon Siege brings all of that back. It lets me play the battlemage and decide whether I want to sell an axe or put the couple of points into Strength next time I level up so I can wield it, just to see what happens.

Voice Work
The voiceovers in the simple, animated cut scenes are good, if a bit over the top. The in-game voice acting, while limited to maybe a short sentence matching the gist of introductory text shown for a character, is pretty good as well.

Quests
The quests and early plot are pretty much forgettable. You're a shipwreck survivor at the start of the game. Go to this location, kill the so-and-so's, and bring back the Spoon of Yendor, or some such.

Bad News #1: Ad-Hoc Only
There are a couple of glaring negatives with the game.

First up, the multiplayer is ad-hoc only. After seeing so many good parts of this game I was even more disappointed by this situation. Two players online cruising through a graphically pleasing game with a diverse inventory, nice spell effects, and what could be good hack-and-slash fun would have been great. And voice support would have been a must, but with ad-hoc only, no voice support is necessary since you'll be in the same room.

Bad News #2: The Game Is A Coaster!
The game shuts off my PSP constantly! This happened to me three times.

The first time it happened I was about 20 minutes in and really starting to enjoy it. I hadn't saved the game yet -- it doesn't have auto-save, but it does let you save anywhere -- so I lost all of my progress.

I figured it was a fluke -- maybe I'd hit the power button by mistake, so I tried again. Shutdowns aren't completely unheard of my PSP -- once in a great while even my favorite Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror will shut down my PSP when playing online.

The second crash happened at the end of the first loading screen when I was about to set foot in the Savage Forest and start playing. This definitely was a bad sign. I tried one more time, and this third crash happened after I'd saved a couple of times out of fear of losing progress, and was exiting a new area.

Three strikes and you're out. This game is basically a coaster, perhaps for a shot glass, but a coaster nonetheless. I'm extremely happy that I rented this game and didn't buy it.

Am I sure?
After such a surprising performance, I spent the next couple of hours playing other games on my PSP with nary a hiccup just to be sure my system was in tip-top shape.

Rating?
Had the game worked, I'd probably have given it maybe an 80% rating just based on what I'd seen in the first couple of areas. No online multiplayer really would have held it back. But since it doesn't work at all, I can't rate it.